Dec 20

December 20, 2006

Last night we had a total meltdown. I was so exhausted I just broke down. I said I can’t keep up the schedule we’ve been on and cried and said I just wanted to go home. I was so frustrated. So today on the way to Kingman we decided to make a few notes of what we’ve learned so far:

1. We need to get a schedule and stick to it. We’re not doing any studying because we’re so busy running around trying to meet the needs of everyone in the community. We don’t feel like we’re learning anything. The schedule we like is study from 10-12, lunch, visits from 1-5, dinner, evening time. This would help me because I feel like I spend all day every day with people…people who have huge, unsolvable problems. This gets very depressing for me. Robert handles it better than I do. Also, he has always had a much greater energy level than I do. I need time to myself. And without studying I don’t feel like we have the resources to do what we need to do.
2. We should have been more patient at the beginning. Everyone told us not to be in a big hurry, but we felt compelled to be out in the community drumming up business. Well, we were wildly successful, to the point that it’s almost unmanageable now. We need to slow down a little and let the spirit work for us and with us.
3. We need to follow the counsel several people have given us that we need to make certain we get away from the reservation and go for rides or whatever…just go places to get away from the demands of the rez. We can’t do a P-day on the rez because someone always comes by or calls and their needs and despair communicate themselves to us and make us feel the same way. There’s no way we can solve all the problems. We feel like we just run around putting band-aids on a million wounds but never curing anything.
4. We need to set limits on what we’re willing to do. We can only offer rides if it’s at a time when we’re out anyway or it’s an emergency. We can’t continue to drop everything we’re doing every time someone calls because there’s a problem every minute out there. The way we’ve been doing things we are on call every minute of the day and night.

Well, that’s not very informative for the general world but it helped me today. Perhaps I won’t need the Prozac after all.

We left home at 6:50 AM today (remember the part about slowing down???). Went to Zone Conference at Steve and Rosie’s house. It was nice. They had the house decorated beautifully for Christmas. We had training in the morning (boring and nothing we couldn’t have missed to sing at the Wake), then had a lovely lunch and a nice Christmas program. The mission president and his wife gave everyone a pin that says “Put on the whole armor of God” and a card plus the first presidency sent cards to us. Our district sang a lovely song. Meeks bore his testimony as he leaves in January.

Then we left for California! Yea! We can hardly wait to get there. We talked to everyone and it felt so good to have my cell phone again. The Arkansas kids are doing great. All their stuff arrived and got unloaded today.

Tonight we’re at a lovely Holiday Inn Express in Kingman Arizona. We just want to sleep! Last night when we were so exhausted President Bonito came over at 11:30 PM and at midnight the people from the community dinner returned the chairs. AARGH! We need a break!